I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
