For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
