A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
