But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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