if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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