5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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