his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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