i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Randomize
