she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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