Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
