Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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