I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
