so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
