"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Be still, my beating vagina.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
