I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
