Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
