she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
false alarm, still single
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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