capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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