I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
