i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
