look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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