positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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