I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Actions speak louder than pants.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
