And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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