You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
