I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
