Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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