once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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