Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
