No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
