i need an iv and a liver transplant
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
