if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
