There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize