her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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