Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
