The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Your penis caused this!
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