forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
