C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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