Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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