no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize