Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
