just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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