Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
