I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
