fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
