the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
