Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
