Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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