I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
