yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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