bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Two words: nipple clamps
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