How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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