honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
