If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
