I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
