Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
