I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My boob is missing a layer of skin
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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