Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
