Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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