So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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