I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
