Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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