You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
