Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
