is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
my poor anus
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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