Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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