Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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