seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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